If I could be every girl’s and boy’s inner voice while they matriculate through high school, I would say, “You Can Wait!” You can survive the cute girls and cute boys. I know it’s difficult especially when everyone else is doing it. I know your body is screaming to explore. You’ve started to feel your sexual desires awaken and your eyes have been awakened to nude bodies and ears awakened to the sounds of music, and lyrics describing “sex in the back seat” and “women giving the best head”! And you’re wondering if you and “ole boy” can go a tad bit further than just kissing and fondling. I remember those days.
The truth is you’re simply not ready for that switch to “turn on”! High School should be a preparatory time for life and your sexual innocence should be preserved. It’s not the time to start your body count collection. I know we would all love for “our first” to be the “first and only”. That’s just not realistic in many cases. So, I want to help you avoid some traps so that you’re able to keep your mind and body intact.
1. Have fun and enjoy activities, events, and hanging out in groups.
Stay active. It is important to be active during high school. You get to expand your social skills. Joining clubs make you more well-rounded and will prepare you for your future. These events add to reportiire and creates less time for idle behavior. When you’re idle during high school, trouble awaits.
2. Choose your friends wisely.
Make friends with individual who will hold you accountable to celibacy, are not trying to pressure you into doing “stupid” things. Yes, there is a time when will all do stupid things. But, remember real friends won’t let you go too far. They will stop you. And, if you’re reading this and you’re the friend that’s always wanting to get into something, STOP IT and get focused. The truth is your circle will inevitably determine some decisions you make. The Bible says, bad company corrupts good character. I know what you’re saying. You’re saying, well, I just hang out with them, but I’m not like them. Eventually, behavior begins to rub off in the most subtle way especially when you’re outnumbered. So, choose a crowd that is making wise choices and will fight for you to make wise choices as well! Choose the friend that will have your back when your dating the wrong guy or will check you when went too far with the person you’re dating. This is the best accountability.
3. Listen to your parents.
Your parents have antennas that recognize “mess” from miles away. Don’t holler back when they say, “they’re not good for you!” Listen to them. More than likely, they see what you cannot see. They will see beyond the “respectful” dude with bad intentions. They will manage your curfew when you’ve made plans to sneak to your boo’s house. They will be your conscious, when yours hasn’t completely developed just yet.
4. Date Responsibly
I can’t begin to tell you how many guys throughout high school would say freaky things to me in an attempt to break me down and take my virginity. I’ve heard it all. Know that you will be a target and you must guard yourself, by number one dating a respectful guy and one who will respect your boundaries. And, if you happen not to meet a guy or girl who fits your dating standards, then don’t date in high school. It’s not mandatory. It won’t kill you and you won’t be considered weird if you haven’t had a serious relationship until your junior year in college or even after. Develop and cultivate friendships with guys. This will help you once you do start to date.
5. Set Boundaries
Determine your rules and abide by them. Celibacy does not happen by happenstance. It happens by strategic action. Determine that you’re not going there. If you leave room for doubt in your own mind of whether or not you want to be celibate, you will just allow it to happen and wake up with regret. Live with boundaries while in high school. Manage the physical touch by showing simple displays of affection without tonguing, feeling, and removing undergarments. Manage your conversation by keeping it holsom. Boundaries help set the standard for you and your partner, so don’t be afraid to use them.