Being a virgin is still ok. Yes, it goes against societal norms, but it’s still ok. Being a virgin a little while longer may turn out to be worth it in the end. In the words of Yvonne Orji, “the wait is sexy”. So, if you believe that like we do, but have become weak in your journey this post may be just for you.
1. Don’t Fear
You will be rejected. Perhaps, more often than not. You must face the reality that many men require and crave sex. However, there is someone who will wait for you. Know that if you’re rejected, life goes on. Rejection is not always bad. Have you ever been in love with someone and they didn’t love you back? Then, later on down the line, you ask yourself, what was I thinking loving them anyway? You had an epiphany that they were the “best thing you never had” in my Beyoncé voice. Well, this type of rejection is very similar. You wake up one day and you’ll be glad they did.
2. Know your “Why”
You must know your why. Is it because you haven’t had the opportunity to be with the person you love and you’d rather wait? Is it because you have a moral conviction about it? Knowing your why will help determine how far you are willing to go to keep that commitment to yourself.
3. Set some boundaries
Sex is easy! It can slip up on you in the most unexpected and unplanned way. So, you better be willing to stop those hands from going down there. You better be willing to dash out the door after a certain hour. You better be willing to say “NO”.
4. Tell a trusted friend your goal
Your friend will keep you accountable. Tell them to remind you of why you said you wanted to stay a virgin. A good reminder is sometimes enough to keep you from giving in….until next time……It’s not easy, so there will be a next time, but you can do it!
5. Don’t give in to mainstream media
Media will tell you to dooooo it!! It will scream to you to express your sexuality! Be free! But, you have to resist the attempted media implants and be strong. Media does not always tell the truth. If you have to stay away from movies, tv, and music for a while until you rebuild your strength, do it!
6. Tell your partner ASAP.
Don’t wait until they are hot and bothered and ready to go to spring it on them. Tell them in the initial dating phase. Be prepared for #1. If you don’t get #1, then that’s great. See where it goes.
7. Read encouraging material about others
Reading the stories of others will help you realize that you can do it to. It will inspire you. It will give you fuel.
8. Don’t fear sex
The goal is not to demonize sex by remaining a virgin. The goal is to be completely informed and ready for sex when the time comes. Know that sex is great when done in the right timing with that special person.
9. Know that you are perfectly amazing
Having had sex does not define you. You have so much to offer your partner without sex. There is friendship, dating, double dating, fun events, your goofiness, your intellect, your good and bad days, your sadness, and so much more that can be piled on before sex. There is so much to be explored than just your body.